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Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

Puberty is gonna hit Justin Bieber harder than Chris Brown hit Rihanna!

I asked a girl if I could buy her a drink, she said she had a boyfriend, So i said, well I have a goldfish, She said what? I replied oh im sorry, thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter.

Ricky Martin IS gay. You owe me $5 from 6th grade.